But Minecraft has always been one of the video games I thought of as wholesome. Of course these are things I think about, and often. Why should I be surprised? Why do I assume for one second that my special snowflake won’t be exposed to that kind of crap? What do I expect? There are a million sick fucks on the internet who don’t give a rat’s ass about all the innocent kids who are out there playing Minecraft. I know what you’re probably going to tell me: It’s the INTERNET. How freaking easy would it be for my son to scroll past one of the sex videos, not know what on earth he was looking at, click on it, and watch? But then I realized, duh, the kid spends a million hours watching Minecraft YouTube videos.Īs I scrolled through YouTube, I saw that some of the videos were protected by the whole “you must be 18 years or older to watch.” But others? They came up on my phone with literally no trouble whatsoever. I’ll spare you the rest because I’m a decent human being.Īt first, I was just happy that my 9-year-old, a Minecraft aficionado for many years, doesn’t use the app version of the game. (OK, just one.) I couldn’t get past the “gangsta” Minecraft dude banging a bikini-clad chick in the back room of a Minecraft whorehouse. I could only bring myself to watch a few of the videos.
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Apparently, in the app version of the game, you can install user-created modifications that let you “craft” such cringe-worthy things as pixelated characters getting it on with each other. Fuckity fuck fuck.Ī ton of hits come up, mostly YouTube videos.
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RELATED: The Steamiest Free Literotica-Style Online Erotica We Can FindĪfter I dropped my kids off at school, I took a deep breath and googled “minecraft sex mods.” And fuck. I mean, hasn’t 2016 been riddled with enough vulgarities and disgust already? Couldn’t just one thing stay decent and pristine? on a Monday as I was trying to scarf down some oatmeal and coffee while trying to not to keel over from sleep deprivation and the sounds of my cranky children moaning about wearing socks. Something about Minecraft having a user-created sex mod? Not something I could think about at 7:30 a.m. This morning, the internet was buzzing with some information that I selectively chose to ignore at first.